FRIDAYS DRUNKEN RANT (ON SUNDAY) PRESENTS: STAR WARS BORES
Why do people insist on seeing movies the second they open? I mean, I just don’t get it. Why would someone feel they have to see the movie immediately? I suppose I could understand if it was a special engagement and the movie was only going to play for one week. Then I get it. But why deal with the crowds and the crap just to be the first one to see the movie? Why, damn it?
What really brought this to the forefront again was the release of the new, and thank God, last Star Wars movie. Someone told me they went to see the new Star Wars movie at the very first screening. They were actually beaming about this. I mean, I think they actually wanted me to shake their hand or throw them a damn parade! For what? Listen, numbnuts, no one cares you were the first one to see the Stars Wars movie, and actually, now most people will be kind of creeped out by you. They may not say it outright, but they will be thinking, “I wonder how the hell this jackhole stuffed himself into his Yoda costume?” I hate to break it you, but you’re a second-rate Trekkie.
I can understand seeing a movie more than once. Sometimes we just enjoy a movie so much and it just stirs something nice in us making us want to relive that moment. But to do this you do not need to see the movie the second it comes out. And to take this one step further, you do not need to wait in line for weeks waiting for a movie to come out so you can say you were the first to see it. I hate to be the one to break it you, Seymour Knuts, but there was probably a hundred other people in the theater at the same time as you, so you weren’t the first. You were only one of the many. I mean, what is it you want? To tell your other creepy friends that you were the first one to buy a ticket and you were the first one in the theater dressed as Princess Leia? Whoop-dee-doo!!! I bet once you shared this information with a coworker, they probably wanted to know what the hell is wrong with you. Which begs the question—What the hell is wrong with you?
What really brought this to the forefront again was the release of the new, and thank God, last Star Wars movie. Someone told me they went to see the new Star Wars movie at the very first screening. They were actually beaming about this. I mean, I think they actually wanted me to shake their hand or throw them a damn parade! For what? Listen, numbnuts, no one cares you were the first one to see the Stars Wars movie, and actually, now most people will be kind of creeped out by you. They may not say it outright, but they will be thinking, “I wonder how the hell this jackhole stuffed himself into his Yoda costume?” I hate to break it you, but you’re a second-rate Trekkie.
I can understand seeing a movie more than once. Sometimes we just enjoy a movie so much and it just stirs something nice in us making us want to relive that moment. But to do this you do not need to see the movie the second it comes out. And to take this one step further, you do not need to wait in line for weeks waiting for a movie to come out so you can say you were the first to see it. I hate to be the one to break it you, Seymour Knuts, but there was probably a hundred other people in the theater at the same time as you, so you weren’t the first. You were only one of the many. I mean, what is it you want? To tell your other creepy friends that you were the first one to buy a ticket and you were the first one in the theater dressed as Princess Leia? Whoop-dee-doo!!! I bet once you shared this information with a coworker, they probably wanted to know what the hell is wrong with you. Which begs the question—What the hell is wrong with you?
posted by Cruzbomb at 2:28 PM
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